But, Mom, doesn’t every 8-year-old have an iPod Touch?
Published: Sunday, Jan. 16, 2011 3:57 p.m. MST
By April Perry, For the Deseret News
Our country's obsession with "stuff" is driving me crazy.
My children have always been happy with what they have, but in the past 24 hours, I've been hearing way too much of this:
"Everyone at school has an iPod Touch."
"I was standing in line, and a girl asked me why I wear these shorts so much."
"Some girls at school said I didn't get anything 'good' for Christmas."
Seriously?
I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I see my life and how my children see our lives. I've come to the conclusion that children will naturally think everyone in the world has "more" — unless their parents show them the truth.
Here's a fun exercise that can be repeated as often as necessary to help our children want less — and therefore help us to stay on a budget, get out of debt and spend our money on things that are actually worthwhile:
Step 1: Gather around as a family and list everything that is "wrong" or "lacking" in your lives. It took us about four minutes to come up with 16 things. I was a very good helper.
Step 2: Send that list to a friend or family member who is well-acquainted with the way that most of the world lives. Ask him or her to show you a new perspective. We sent our list to my brother-in-law Jon, who is living in a rural village in the Philippines. We asked him to tell us how our huge, terrible problems compare to those of the people he sees and works with every day.
Step 3: Review this new perspective with your family often, post it in a prominent location or repeat this process whenever your children start to feel like everybody else has more. I've included our list as an example:
1. We have to keep boxes stacked up next to the dryer to keep it closed.
People here have to scrub their clothes themselves and then hang them up to dry because they don't have a dryer — believe me, its not fun; I've made my knuckles bleed while scrubbing.
2. We have paint chips on many of our walls.
People use cinder blocks as walls here.
3. We have no grass in the backyard.
People don't have backyards here.
4. Our carpet has stains on it, and we have to get new carpet.
I have never seen carpet in any of the people's homes here.
5. The sliding doors on our bathtub are broken.
I have never seen a bathtub here, either!
6. We want our own bedrooms because we are tired of sharing.
A lot of homes here are just one room with bamboo dividers for rooms, if their home is big enough.
7. Our dishwasher leaves a weird film on the dishes.
To wash dishes here, you have to go get your water from a well and wash them all by hand.
8. One of our cars is making a weird noise because of something wrong with the brakes.
You are considered rich here if you own one car.
9.The family, especially Ethan, wants better desserts.
A lot of children would just like to have ulam, the stuff they eat with their rice.
10. The older kids want better toys.
Kids don't have toys here; they just make up games and play with each other all day long.
11. Grace and Alia want a little sister.
People might have that same problem here, too.
12. We want to go to Hawaii.
People here would love to go on a trip to even just Baguio for a day, but can't afford it.
13. The fridge and microwave don't match the other appliances.
People here have no appliances and still cook food over an open fire.
14. Ethan wants video games.
Children here don't know what video games are.
15. We'd like to have a vacation home.
Some people would like to live in something more than a bamboo hut.
I can't blame my children for wanting all the toys, clothes and gadgets they see their friends enjoying, but taking some time to appreciate the comforts of our lives has changed our family discussions. We try to talk about what we can do to help others, and we express more gratitude for our food, our clothing, our home and our family.
Every 8-year-old does not have an iPod Touch, and when we shift our focus from what we don't have to what we do have, our "less" really does become more.
April Perry is co-director of The Power of Moms website, which can be found at
powerofmoms.com. She is a writer for the "Motherhood Matters" blog on our website.